Sunday, December 16, 2012

When the Heart Weeps

We have all heard about it... watched the news about... and cried about it.
The brutal killing of 27 innocent adults and young children. I cried when I first heard about it but then I just became angry... very angry. I cannot wrap my head or heart around why this has happened. But then, I literally cried like a baby over the situation. I am not sure anyone will ever be able to fathom why this young man decided that it was in his best interest to cause such massive destruction. Our entire church congregation prayed for everyone involved today and our pastor made a good point- the governor of CT stated, "Evil visited this community today." I truly believe this. And our pastor's point was that "God always shows up in these situations." I think that you have to believe this to be true, for I am not sure how else your heart can heal if you don't.

Working in a field where I regularly see children in situations that would turn the stomach of even the biggest, baddest men and having Shawn himself be a cop, I cannot help but bring my thoughts to the first responders at the scene of the shooting. These men and women had to see every child and teacher, every blood spatter, every sad and gruesome aspect of the scene that we cannot even imagine.

We are constantly criticizing cops for being inappropriate or "bad cops" when in reality there are so many out there that do such a great amount of good. We forget the things that their eyes shield ours from. We are unable to comprehend the feeling they get when they are walking up to any traffic stop or 911 call, as it was in this case, not knowing if that person is waiting behind a door with a gun.

Then I think about the teachers- most of us have read about the young teacher, Ms. Soto, who tried to hide her children in closets and was killed in doing so. The custodian who ran through the hallways trying to warn everyone. The principal and school psychologist who were reported to try and "lunge" at the gunman. Talk about heroes.

Any act like this is sad- and we have had so many in the recent years. But when innocent, naive children are involved it always seems that much worse. Their presents wrapped under the tree, a time of year where kids are excited and happy, suddenly turns into a family's most devistating moments.

My heart is weeping.