Chivalry

“A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do, but what he should do.” 
― Haruki Murakami

I am standing in line to day at Gates on Linwood. After being around someone else eating it, I had a sudden craving for... I say sudden, but let's be honest, I have talked about getting Gates for about a month and a half and had yet to do so. You may wonder why one would wait so long just to get some BBQ.

Let's review the reasons:
1. I am trying to tone up a bit before the wedding. Gates does fit well into my regimen.
2. It is not all that close to my home.
3. It strikes utter fear in me to go in there. Their famous "MAY I HELP YOU?" yell that you hear as soon as you place your hand on the door outside the building scares the crap out of me.... I never know what I want when they are yelling, even if I do actually know what I will be ordering since I get the same thing... every time. Then they just stare, and stare, and stare, giving you that "Aren't you going to speak little girl" look. It's horrifying.

So when I arrived in the parking lot, I had to mentally prepare to go inside. Which brings me to my story...

After counting to 10 and taking some deep breaths, I made it through the ordering process, paid my bill, and was watching them prepare my order when a gentleman dressed in a nice suit walked in, ordered after they yelled at him, and stood behind me to wait for his own meal. That is when I heard it.

He was talking under his breath as he stood there. I made out the phrases "Get it, girl," "Damn, girl, damn," and "I sure hope someone is taking rreeealll good care of that ass," numerous times mixed with the occasional "hmm-hmmm-hmmmm."  For a little less than 5 minutes I just stood there, looking straight ahead, trying as hard as I could to flash my ring finger, very obviously ignoring the obnoxious man behind me.

What. The. Heck.

When did we become a society that finds this behavior acceptable?

I was watching a show on tv today and they were talking about dating and chivalry. The men were arguing that in the "modern day" the use of phones and computers for texting and such was what women should expect. That holding a door open is in the past. That women should be looking for things other than a chivalrous man. And I wanted to scream.

Don't get me wrong-- I can take care of myself. I have a good job. I pay my own bills. I do not NEED somebody to take care of me. But the first date I had with Shawn involved him opening my doors, paying for dinner and our tickets to the concert we went to (and even still I have to be very sneaky and pay for things when he does not know it) and him being a chivalrous man. He still does these things... he tells me I am beautiful (me... not my ass), he holds my doors, and he protects me. And it won me over. I do not need a man to do these things for me but I like that he is a man that wants to do them. I am blessed to have him. And we will be teaching our future children these values.

So... In our society, is chivalry really dying?